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Why Guys Shouldn't Be Scared Of The Word Feminist

June 20, 2017

I once saw a quote that said 'you are either a feminist or you're a bigot' and now by definition Bigot is someone who is intolerant to different opinions, I don't like using this quote as I am always trying to, when it comes to the term feminism to change opinions, so intolerant is not a choice, I want to help change your ideas.  The things that I have found when still talking about feminism to guys I know is that it is still classed as joke, they are not laughing in the face of equal rights, it's not that they think men are better then women or that they are better then me and they are generally nice alright guys and some of my best friends but they do seem to have this idea that calling yourself a feminist is the starting sentence to a rant or an argument about how women should rule the world and make men our slaves, or that in some way or another I'm out to start and argument over something little, making a mountain out of a very small mole hill and cause more drama I mean please it isn't like I walk around with the term imprinted on my forehead....
"Oh yeah hi, I'm Alice, 20 years of age and believe women are better then men and I hate them." 

This by the way is not feminism. This is something completely different and I'm sure it has a name but I don't like to think about women doing that, kinda pisses on my parade if you get me. There has been a change in the way some guys, now you see me say some guys as yes not all guys are like this, some are 100x better and sadly some are 100x worst; however from the main part feminism has become a spin on it's own head. Rather then being the world its meant to be, strong clear and outlining just what type of 'normal' person you are, somehow it has become a reason to assume you're an angry bitch who hate guys. I love guys, some of the best people I know are guys, but also sadly some of the best people I know are also still saying they're not a feminist, and I feel that comes along very hand in hand with the fear of people thinking you're angry and out to get them. I won't lie I don't really care that much if people think I'm an angry feminist, lets be clear though I am not, I'm passionate and too often both of these traits when it comes to subjects such as feminism, race or gender get mixed up together as a reason to call you wrong in the term of a little raised voice or people who just don't seem to listen. With most things In life that any individual becomes passionate about, be it Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, UK Politics, a football team or a band, someone telling you that they agree will always get your back up, so why are women seen as angry and a groupie is passionate and believes in what they believe in. To me and everyone else who describes themselves as a feminist it just seem logic that that is the only choice. 

But it also has be clear that I understand the struggles women have gone through, I've faced them, I've read books about them, I've seen interviews about them and I've seen them happen right in front of my ginger head. So this is why I choose to say I'm a feminist, and this is also why I still can't understand how some men thing it's a bad thing or even scary to admit that they are too. 

I have first hand, as a joke or seriously been told to get back into the kitchen, am I moody because it's my time of month, that I can't do or go as far in work because I'm a women, been called a slag and been called touchy when I got annoyed or reacted back, been called frigid cause I didn't wanna get with someone in a club and had my dressed pulled up by a stranger cause he thought he could, these are the things that I as a 20 year old white female have experienced; but I am also aware of the many other factors which effect my gender in every area from politics, to the media to work and pay. 

The thing is every man or boy came from a women, quite literally without women they wouldn't be here, so it seems to hurt my brain thinking about why some men don't like to use the word feminist, it's not that they don't agree with the values behind it cause they do and it isn't like they don't know what it means but for some reason the word itself is what scares them. If you say you believe in equal rights for both genders and respect women and understand they need and want the same respect men get then you're a feminist. refusing to use the word is like me saying I don't eat meat or fish but refusing to call myself veggie cause some people find the word threatening.

I won't march around the streets with a signs demanding that you all state yourselves as feminists, but it does make the little bit of me feel so happy when I realise we have similar thoughts on equal rights. It's like you've just told me we hate the same person and instantly we've become best friends. You want equal rights and I want equal rights so lets bring people together and stop having the term 'feminism' of being a dirty or embarrassing word. 

We as women help raise our daughters along side the help of men, and those men were raised by women, so wouldn't they want them to grow up strong, proud and equal to all. I take it back tot he quote at the beginning and I simple say that there isn't a middle ground.... you either believe women are equal or you don't I mean if Love Island on ITV can bring up the factor of feminism then surely it's coming into the right light? 


Lorde's New Music Speaks Volume

June 17, 2017

I brushed aside the Spotify notification I received the other day letting me know about the release of Lorde's new music and then today it rolled up on shuffle and quite literally stopped what I was doing to continue to listen to it. I thought I'd put aside the fact that she is only 6 days older then me an already worldwide phenomenon has more talent in one little finger then I do my whole body in 20 years of living, or the fact that I'm insanely jealous her friendship with Jack Antonoff and Lena Dunham to see if it really did live up to everything that I was hoping it would. 

The release of 'Green Light' set the bar high, it over took 'Royals' and made me thing how can we both be in our 20 years of living and she be writing such meaningful and beautiful songs all the while I struggle to write a message in a birthday card. There's something about Lorde which makes you realise she was born singing out the womb and this was the only path for her. Some people like myself try and clamber onto the path we want to go down and it takes us a while to persuade the people that we're half decent and they should totally give us that job, and then there are people like Lorde who just live and breathe it. I mean she's 20.... SHE'S 20! she is one year out of teenage years and already onto her second album, she's equal rights activist, doesn't care about body shamers, stands up for what she believes in is pretty dam bad arse if you want a real opinion on her. 

I would be lying if from one curly haired person to another if I didn't bring up the fact I'm a little hurt she hasn't kept her crazy curls, but the truth is I am willing to look past that if she continues to 110% slay in the music industry. 
As I sit here eating Ferrero Rochers, hiding from the sun and trying to stop my puppy eating my phone charger 'Melodrama' would be the perfect word for me to try and describe how exciting my life is, this is the first and only Saturday I'll get off all summer and I'm hoping that it is more exciting then it really is. So it's kinda a good thing that my neighbours will hear I'm musically cultured and mature. 

A Life Time Of Being The 'Funny Girl'

June 17, 2017
I'll take it, you know I'll have it, I'd rather be funny then nothing, but maybe I should start thinking into it a bit more? Is the funny girl just simply an upgrade of the life long 'fat girl' stereotype. Did I start loving myself, develop a sense of humour after laughing at myself for so long that now funnies my thing. I am the funny girl that just isn't seen as the hot one. Or am I the friend who just is never seen in that way again, that one joke I made that time, and the fact I don't really care at all if I'm seen not looking my best has turnt me into a cynical funny girl who people just don't see as hot. Has my hotness died? And do I have to loose my friendships, or at least become more of a bitch in order to be seen as hot again, How do you regain your hotness once it's walked swiftly away and been replaced by jokes and not caring.

Like I'm okay with being classed as funny, being funny and having a sense of humour comes up in the top 2 things I look for when I fancy people, but do I reach those top two in other peoples eyes, or am I just funny, and in doing so make myself the friend and and it's like the more of a friend I am the less hot I get, does that happen, Is the friendzone really a thing, for years I've been thinking it was something guys who couldn't pull the girl they wanted and then that was the excuse they told their laddy mates. I don't want every friend i have to fancy me, but I'm just asking to not be invisible. And now the thing is I know this sounds like I'm making that exact excuse and that I am in fact saying I should walk around and have people worship at my feet and tell me how beautiful I am, this please be aware is not the case, I'm just asking that the sentence or even the thought of you thinking I'm okay looking isn't so weird to think about. 
You see what I said there, not even sexy, I'm not sexy, that isn't something which is strong on me or even in my vocabulary. My image of me trying to be sexy is something which in my head is a perfectly planned outfit, or maybe not so much of an outfit but a 'look' and I can see myself looking silly or just laughing. I mean I can do sexy, I just know that most people probably don't see me as it, and I'm okay with that, people fall into one of three groups in my head, and it comes down to 3 slang words of which whenever I think of saying out loud make me cringe a little inside. 
These words can put people into 3 groups on how they on averagely look, please don't think too much into this, this is just my logic in how guys brains work from my own 20 years of knowledge. 

Fit: This is the 'typical' girl, the one that most guys no matter their type will find attractive, if you are called fit on the daily, very common or this is the word you hear or would even describe someone as then they are more then likely the girl everyone wants to date and the girls that are what 98% of males will fancy. Then there is,
Pretty: This is a term I prefer to describe people by and of course you can be pretty and fit, but pretty falls into the group more with cute and girly like. this is where I'm aiming to fall, goal target right here, but all the same I don't know how to take either fit or pretty, but I can tell you know out of these two I am not the girl that gets called fit. I never have been and I'm okay with that. I can build over that; then there is the last one, the biggest one of all:
Beautiful: This is where the people go who just annoy me... no I'm only joking they don't annoy me, these girls are the girls that you kinda look at in the street and just wish they were horrible people because then at least you could walk away knowing they were mean and they weren't caved from angels themselves. I would and have never called myself beautiful and to some that might sound like I'm fishing for compliments, which isn't true or called for, I'm just saying that I think I fall somewhere outside the diagram. 
Picture this; a venn diagram of these 3 categories, I'm somewhere floating on the outside, where I value the compliment pretty but would kinda deep down rather be called fit and I'm climbing for the word beautiful. But that doesn't mean I have low self worth or even hate what I look like, yes I wish my tummy didn't do that weird thing when it's flat when laying down but pokes out when I'm sitting up, and I wish my boobs didn't disappear the moment I lay on my back and I wish I didn't hate my arms so that I didn't have to cover them all the time, but I just don't think I fit into the 'everyday' pretty. Maybe that's why I chose to try and be funny. 

So why am I sat here telling you about something that probably isn't a real thing, but then most of the stuff I think about is just me over thinking in my head so you know it could be anything from rubbish to something 50% of all females worry about. I just think that sometimes people forget not classing someone as pretty, or fit, or even beautiful because you're too good of friends, or too close and just happen to one of you have a vagina and the other have a penis is sometimes just as bad as insulting them. A life time of being the 'friend' and the 'funny girl' is okay but when it makes you feel people don't think you look nice sometimes the jokes are a little hard to bring to the surface. 
You see there's this balance, you haven't got to make out that your friend is this giant blob of nothingness cause there is no way you would call them ugly, they're your friend for goodness sake, but also, the moment you say something nice to them isn't going to be a sign for them to jump across the room, rip your clothes off and suddenly fall in love with you. Just there doesn't have to be a fear that friends can't think one another are good looking. From someone who has spent a lifetime worrying about what to wear, how to do my hair and wether someone can see my belly rolls or not when I sit down, and now someone who doesn't or at least tries really hard not to care the friend idea that someone can't be considered to look nice or that comes along as the funny one rather then the pretty friend is hard for me to understand. Why are and why is there this idea that at one point boy and girl friendships will end in something happening, I can look at strangers and say they are good looking and also friends, I can also control myself when it comes to them, so there is no need to worry but being and always have being the funny girl, gets a little old when it starts to sounds like thats your replacement because people don't find your pretty. 

Summer Body?

June 09, 2017

I give out a lot of advice, any situation, I mean I'll normally have an angle that I can come at you with, and wether it's good, or you choose to follow it well that's up to you, but I'll try and and I'll try and fix whatever the problem was in the first place... but then why do I face some of the same problems and not heed my own advice like I think I should. Isn't that the first rule of advice taking, you would have to follow whatever you tell other people to do or else what's the point in telling them in the first place. Well you see that's the thing, I have an issue with taking the wise wise words I say to other people and applying them within my life, that just doesn't seem to come as naturally as saying them does. But there is, like most things in life there is the exception. Something from which if you know me might surprise you just how simple okay I am about this area of advice.....

Yes you guessed it by the body, vest shape piece of toast just above, summer bodies. It rolls round to may and most people say they need to get a summer body, yes there are the people who have a summer body all yeah round and go tot gym as much as I make the 2 minuet walk to the fridge and I'm fine with that, I mean I won't be doing it but I'm cool with that. So here's the thing, why is there, wait no why do we every year before summer starts try to change ourselves into the summer version of us. Why do we run to shred these winter pounds and eat lettuce for 8 weeks in order to look good on the beach? 

Please that wasn't a real question, of course I know why people are trying to loose the weight, they feel better about themselves if they do, they think that socially its more acceptable if they're skinny in the summer, they think that skinnier is prettier in a bathing suit and quite frankly people have been brought up to think it's okay to have winter weight but the worst thing in the world to have it for the summer. 
But, and coming from someone who trust me has spent years trying to come to facts with the fact her tummy pokes out when she sits down, she has never and will never had a thigh gap and who enjoys eating rolls as much as she has them saying it's okay to not have a perfect summer body is a big leap towards the body confidence area I've been clinging onto since hitting puberty and realising this puppy fat is here to stay and turning into pure breed through and through. 

A lot of what I think when it comes to how you see yourself is how you feel, if you feel good, in something that isn't the perfect idea of everyone else's perfect' but you feel great in it and you know it makes you feel good when you put that on then I say where it. I wear a lot of the same outfits over and over again, this yes is due to the fact that I am a poor student and cannot afford to keep buying new clothes but this is also I find things that I love myself in. 
Yes love, it's okay to say love and not be  vain, big headed or full of yourself. I find things I love what I look like in them and then basically I wear them all the time, it's basically knowledge really you find a hot outfit you feel hot in it, you'll be confident and other people will find you hot. I get to comfortable sometimes in accepting that I'm not 'perfect' and that turns into laziness and I stop trying, but really I should see myself as perfect and that's when I feel good, It's kinda like the unspoken rule of girls never going shopping on their period cause there is no way you will find something you like, no matter how many times someone tries to tell you you look good, because your mind is full of hormones and menstruation and that comes before everything in the self love department. So apart from those 3-5 days a month, feeling love for your will quite literally shine out of you. Find a good look and kill while wearing it.  

I'm going on holiday in June, and yes it is true the first thing that came into my head is "oh my god I'm gonna have to drop 3 dress sizes, my best friend is tiny and I'm not and I'm gonna look like a huge whale next to her, and people will judge me, and people will think I've eaten the third person on this holiday!" But then I reaslised that I had so many more things to worry about, and that I want to exercise not for loosing weight, like that would be a good side effect but really I want to do more running as that is the only exercise I do not get bored with, I want to do more running so that I can come back after summer and beat my flat mate or at least come close to beating him on a run. I care more about that then I do what I look like in a bikini. I look okay in swim wear and most of the time I'll buy ones and certain types that I know I like so the more I thought about it the more I started to notice I wasn't that bothered by it and I just kinda assumed that I should be. Which really I'm not. 

So I think what I'm trying to say, as I sit on my bed and think about buying pretty swim wear and more holiday clothes that I can't really afford is that the 'summer body' is whatever you want it to be. There isn't a size that makes you look good in a bikini because if you don't feel good in it yourself then you won't feel good 1, 2 or 3 stone lighter. Make your summer body whatever you want it to be. 

One foot In The Real World, One Still in Bed

June 06, 2017

I don't know about you but I am constantly trying to justify to myself that I am growing up and that there is now no running away from the fact that people will call me an adult, so maybe it should stop being a surprise when it hits me at random times that I'm not a child anymore, I mean I'm not even a teenager anymore. It's little things you know, the fact I live with people who even though are only a year younger then me, are in fact still called teenagers, the fact I still live at home when I'm not at uni and strongly rely on my mum so my clothes are clean and to make my bed for, or is it the fact I'm still in a job and a position that I've been in for, for nearly 3 years and still only a sales assistant; these are the things that keep me grounded in the area of I'm not ready to be an adult. But then on the hand I think I am, I get involved in politics, I understand what debt and an overdraft is and I can totally cook a whole Christmas dinner for a flat of 7 including 2 vegetarians. So I'm in this limbo of the middle of being adult and still not ready to hang up my child gloves. So where does that put me in the looks of everything. Am I an adult or am I just trying to be and keeping it fun? 

When people say I remember it like it was yesterday it's just always one of those things that get stuck in my head because there are certain things that I can still recite like it was happening to me now and you wanted a detailed play by play of everything from the weather to the lunch I ate that day then I could give it to you.  And thinking about time going by is one of those Brian Cox things that hurt your head the deeper you get, the more you think about growing up and getting older will forever be something that my writing, fashion focused brain just simply cannot comprehend, but time going on is something that is forcing me into he adult world, I mean really I have no choice, unless I wanna spend my days locked in my room at home never leaving never moving on then adult life is something I will be pushed head first into without a choice or even a vote. Alice better hold onto her hat, magazine collection and soft cushions all before bills, cable and weekly shopping become the most important things in your life. 20 will seem like a breeze in 10 years. 

I've finished my first year of university, and it's kinda scary as hell that I only have to go through this twice more before I am well and truly done with education forever, I will be expected to move out, buy a house and have a real job, the days of living with my mum and not paying money for a roof over my head will have felt quite literally been like the good old days. I am doing the very student thing and celebrating finishing first year by going out three nights in a row all at once and now only have I decided that I might not be able to do that, this weird limbo of not quite and adult but still not really a child has brought along with it a weird 'I can't handle that much alcohol or nights out anymore.' Instead I need a break and a good week to recover, this is something that I will not be getting over the next week. 

There is a long list of things that I'm not quite ready to add to the list of things I already have, does this mean I need to knock some off in order to make them all fit? 

- Bill paying, I kinda like my money to clothes and food 
- Making important phone calls, I called Legal and general the other week and never want to do it again.
- A 9-5 job, I love my 4 hour shifts and then go home and do whatever I want to.
- People calling me old, I never want anyone to call me old, like seriously, ever. 
- Not living with my dogs, I miss them more then my left arm, you know if I was to loose my left arm. 

I'm comfortable being what I am, I don't like the sound of adult just yet but I hate been called a child and can't be called a teenager anymore, so I'll sit in this weird place of limbo for as long as I can and then when I have to face the real world, well then I'll do the adult thing and drink a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows.
Oh wait I do that already. 

It's Sunday, Don't Just Stay In Bed

June 04, 2017

If you are anything like me and basically most Sundays are for lay ins and not pjs then this might be something for you, I have just woken up a little tired from seeing Elton John last night, a little scared to go back to London after last night and now a little bored that my plans have been cancelled. But it's okay, cause if there is one thing Sundays are made for it is making plans that I do like to say that I am a morning person but it seems that Sundays are the hardest day to get up and be motivated, I sit scrolling through my Instagram feed looking at London brunches and seaside breakfasts, with people so put together at 9 in the morning I think I was still dreaming about eggs to even consider eating one, but this is something that I would like to change. Cause the think is I'm finished with uni now, yes year 1 of 3 is now complete and I don't really know what to do with myself, I'm done with work, I've come home for the weekend and then traveling back to Nottingham only to move out next week for the entire summer, and I'm making a promise to myself to make sure that I get up more on Sundays, I wanna see what they have to offer, before it gets to 4 o'clock everyday time and then suddenly I regret not getting up earlier. So I summer resolution to me, get up earlier on Sundays. 

- Walk - 
Okay so I know this sounds like a real simple one but like it gets your arse out of bed and makes you get up and see things. I think in the whole time I have been at university I have gone on my walks and made myself get out when I actually have free time and now that I'm sat in bed I'm kinda annoyed at myself for not now. But I'm also gonna push this on and say make it a run, I have bailed on 2 6am runs while at university, and just like more walks I'm gonna go on more runs too. I hope. 

- Breakfast - 
Roll up those sleeves, find the boomerang app and go and have that Instagram inspired brunch, you're allowed to have brunch as we're not weirdos and getting up to be out and ready by 8 might be a bit much to ask. Tie your french bull dog up to the post, order your eggs royal and take a photo of a nottinghill door. 

- Visit Someone - 
Okay so coming from someone who works in retail throughout the holidays and the times i'm not at uni, this is a bit of a bold statement but isn't Sundays when most people have time off and when most peoples days of coinside with each other, so why not go see family, friends or anyone and just have a cuppa tea and talk about all the embarrassing things that happened on that work do the night before. Trust me a lot can be said on a Sunday morning catch up over tea and toast. 

I'm Dancing... Leave Me Alone!

June 03, 2017

When I'm dancing in a club and having a good time and drunk or not, when I move away from you on the dance floor it is not a sign for you to chase me, I am not wanting you to follow me, this look I just gave my friend isn't wide eyed and happy that you're slowing trying to grab my arse, this is the look known universally to every female as the look that I need to move away from the so called person behind me who for some reason things I can't feel his hand on my back, and seems to think I want your sweaty arm round me when all I'm trying to do it dance to old school RnB and have a good time with my friends. When I'm dancing in the club, bar, street or any bloody where please do not assume I am so drunk that I do not know what you are trying to do or that I even want you to do that, I'm sorry was me moving away 5 times not clear enough. Give me my space. 

Now please this is in no way me saying that it is annoying that I keep getting so much guy attention, I mean I challenge you to find anyone more single then I am right now, but this does not mean that I want to be any part of your late night pulling scheme. I know it gets busy in clubs and I know you don't always mean to knock into me and I can handle that, that I am okay with I can deal with that. But please stop trying to think that because we are in a room with minimal light, sticky floors and questionable toilets that it makes it okay to A line for my arse, lips, hips or face and suddenly think that's all it takes to 'pull' me. I mean if I'm walking along the high street and you grabbed my arse its harassment, I have enough of getting angry at cat callers let alone having to watch out for stray hands and lips, so why does it make it okay for it to be done within the comfort or R Kelly tunes and red bull mixers. Why does suddenly pinching a random persons arse become the new wave or hand shake and why when I tell you to leave me alone do you assume I'm playing hard to get.

I have found the more I go out, and the more you seem to dance the more people seem to think that it is okay to just approach you and try and get in on your night, by playing it cool and bringing out their best chat up lines, except they aren't lines at all they're hands, too many hands for one night, hands from every angle and places you don't even know where they're coming from. And the thing that kills the most is that 95% of the time the owners of those hands don't seem to understand the many hints we manage to drop, walking away or moving doesn't seem to help, telling them to stop doesn't work, physically taking their hand off your arse fails, Swapping places with your flat mates is inconsistent and shouting at the to "Fuck off" is deemed to over the top, so what I'm just meant to let you put your hand up my skirt, or thrust your crouch into my back because I should and because I've worn my good makeup, fitted top and pulling out some of the best dance moves this side of the 80's cause I'm sorry but that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I will work my way across the other side of the room, into a completely new section of the club to get away from you and I will sit in the toilets until I deem it okay to come back out and enjoy my night. But then I think why should I have to do doing this? Why am I stopping having fun to move away from the arse grabbing, sweaty machine that is so many people in clubs.

Here's the thing, you wouldn't do this in a shop, or a house, or the queue at Tesco's so why is it happening in clubs and bars, why suddenly in a place like this where surprise surprise but people like me and my friends go for to have a good time and I having to always be on the watch out for people trying touch any part of me they can reach. I am having a good time and dancing for me, for my friends to enjoy ourselves, I am not some sexy siren who is trying to win you over and as much as you might think I'm staying into your eyes and giving you 'signs' I'm not, I more then likely already know what you're thinking about doing, as by the way we can spot you from 15ft away before you've even and your move, and already we have 5 escape routes planned and a well thought out and practiced fake girlfriend/boyfriend situation worked out. So for the sake of you not having to waste your own time and for me not having to give up the prime space me and my girlfriends have managed to find, in the perfect place on the dance floor just to escape you and your 'pulling' friends please learnt these little things us girls do in order to try and give you the HINT that we do not want your hand on my arse or any other part of my body, I do not want your number or a drink and I will not leave my friends in order to follow you around like a list puppy all night. 

The Look:
This is something that all girls known, it is passed down through families and friendship groups and if you try and tell me you have never seen 'the look' either being used on you or someone you know then you just don't know what it is. This is the stepping stone into the signal to friends to help you out, if there's no where to go the look with get the swapped places, have them danced away which in turn looks like every other dance and turn move performed by a group of girls except this will carry on until you are made aware that we don't want to let her be near you. 

Fake Girlfriend/Boyfriend:
This is not as common as the look and is reserved for the people we think will take the most work until they leave you alone, it is performed by the best of friends and the will never be any floors in your plan because as some point you would have promised to marry your fake partner if you are both still single and alone by the age of 40. This however can back fire and for the really keen if not stranger beings out there, will not in fact be a deterrent but will pursue more effort on their part as they believe a group display is on the cards for them, and that is how the Fake lover turns into the walk away. 

The Walk Away:
This is normally reserved for the end of the night when we know we'll be going home soon and quite frankly we cannot be bothered to even try and think up and excuse, argue moan or make any effort in spending time on you, so we simply walk away and hope you don't think it's wise to follow me. 

Good Old Fashioned Shout:
Now I will say I do not like this, and I do not like it when things grow to this level of need, but sometimes it just has to be done. When all of the above do not work and nothing seems to be sinking in with the said individual, a little louder note and angry tone can be the thing to even though result in a sarcastic comment, something along the lines of "yeah well you're not that fit anyway," is quite literally normally the only thing that will work. 

So next time if you think you're playing it cool and doing what yo want to grab your next kiss, just think that when they're walking away or ask you to stop, maybe it's just not what the other person is wanting right in this moment. 

Knowing when to admit you're in the wrong

April 28, 2017

Let you ego deflate, hang your head low and admit you fucked up. That's the best advice I can give you. It's simple and easy but harder then you would think to do. It takes guts, sometimes wine and the ability to try harder next time and not do the thing that caused it all to go wrong in the first place.
I will be the first to admit that I can mess up on a major scale more then once in my life time, on a large part of those times I have embarrassed myself, or done something to only effect me and make me look stupid, but once every now and again I do things that fuck it up for other people. I know more then anyone how much of a bitch and nasty person I can be. Like everyone you will ask it is not a trait I will ever be proud of and not something I will or ever use to like to admit, but I'm getting into adult life now and I feel that knowing when I've done something wrong is the first step to waking the help up and stopping acting like a child.
There I said it.... I'm a horrible person that sometimes can treat people badly.

This of course is not something that I am or will ever be proud of, it's not like I can have it placed under the 'Skills' section of my CV just in case someone wants to higher an employee with a bad attitude. No this is something people don't talk about. It's a well known factor that us walking, talking humans don't like to 1. admit we're in the wrong and 2. let the world know that even the nicest person can have a bad day. And sometimes those bad days become bad nights, long night time walks and horrible to go through morning chats. But this is where the thing you fucked up the time before can hopefully fingers crosses get sorted out.

I won't recall the times I've messed up, to be honest it's one for privacy and the other because I kick myself everytime I think about them and then they'd set off the train of over thinking and that just wouldn't be okay right now.  But I will say this, when in a fight, or an argument or even just a one way shouting match, I would say try not and loose all your shit, hold it together try and be the bigger person; But...... just sometimes you're such the smaller person you think you're doing the right thing and you're so far from it you can't even see the right thing any more. I myself am a stupid smaller person. Thankfully the people I've been the smaller person to have been bloody giants and done the right thing. It can sometimes take what feels like years to be able to move on from something that at the time you felt was right but then you wake up in the morning, after 2 hours sleep waking up every 10 minuets paying every sinario round and round in your head, and for all the vodka to have gone to actually understand that what you did was stupid and if you could kick yourself then you totally would drop kick yourself in the face.  

Lets take this moment to thank all the people who are wise enough and good enough to take anyone back who was in the wrong to them. See that's the best thing you can do, admit you are in fact wrong, it takes something you might not have had to use before and you never know you might not have ever done it, pride can be a bitch and get in the way of so many things but sometimes you just gotta suck it up and move on from it. Bite that pride with all the power you should have bite your lip with and you rack your brains. I' sure you can find at least one time you should have let your ego float away. 

Movies perfect for a day in bed

April 24, 2017
I'm no stranger to spending a day in bed, there's a reason as to why I need to set 6 alarms all evenly spread out in order to get me up some mornings. When these days occur and I just want to watch something that will make me feel good if I can't beat the anxiety of trying out a new film that I haven't deeply researched through IMDB then I will always go back to these safe numbers. The films that give you the great feeling deep in your heart. I'm a student like I mean if there was someone who knew abut spending a day in bed, then well it's me. 

You find me a health Ledger film I didn't like, and I'll tell you that you're lying. I mean what more can you really want, I mean if the Romeo and Juliet remake involving babe Leo then this Shakespeare adaption is just as good, and if I dare say it, even better. You have a rock rebel bad boy who falls in love with the angry feminist. I mean of course if you get rid of the bullying, lies and deception then yes it's perfect. But I dare you to watch that poem scene and not have a tear leave your eye. 

On the out set a film about a guy who time travels down his own time line to win over the girl of his dreams is in retrospec everyones ideal chance of winning the best person in the room. And of course you have the ginger guy who played Rom Weasley's brother and the wonderful Bill Knightly paired with a film made in the ideal love romance of Richard Curtis and a Rom Com and to be honest there isn't a lot that could be better about this movie. 

For this number you need to remove the image of Jim Carrey as Dumber and Dumber and Even All Mighty from your head and suddenly he is a new person, I won't lie this is the only film that I really like him, and even though when you think of him you do not thing of a hopeless romantic for this part I have never seen better chemistry between castings. If it wasn't for me being very jealous of Kate Winslet's hair and not liking the idea of memory removal then I might watch it a bit more often. 

Okay al you hardcore Tim Burton fans put your hands up if this isn't what you was expecting, but keep it up if you loved it all the same *hand stays in the air* I think I stumbled upon this film back in the days when I was obsessed with eBay and buying everything from there, so 4 pages into the 'Customers who brought this also brought this' and this film later I've never cried at something so much while also not really understanding what the entire film was really about. 

Have you ever wanted a film to be so good after reading the book? Literally you just simply wished that they wouldn't ruin anything about it. Well this is what happened with this; I will be honest I am happy to over look the casting of Emma Watson for everything else works so wonderfully that literally watching it online on my laptop, I cried all the way through at just how perfect it was. 

Everything you could want in a real life telling of one of the best feel good stories to ever happen to two of the biggest communities within Britain. I'm just saying be prepared for tears of all kinds, happy, sad, confusion and anger. Because some of the best if not most random castings in a film ever this little number will have been watched by more people then you will think. 

The Importance Of Going Out With Your Girlfriends

April 16, 2017
I as an avid believer of staying in and watching a Netflix series through in one sitting while drinking one glass of wine and moaning about being single.. however I have been out for the past 3 nights in a row and on one hand I had a very misconceived sex and the city representation of how I would come out of this; smooth hair, funny stories and a date or two, when in reality I've slept in till 2pm, I've eaten 2 and a half crisp sandwiches and contemplated eating a whole chocolate orange and watching a rom com that will make me feel so single. That isn't to say any of the nights out where bad, I have had 3 very solid good, wine filled nights out. And for now I feel I am the only person who on this Easter Sunday isn't drinking some form of champagne or prosecco before 5 in the evening; it's always 5 o'clock somewhere, isn't that what us wine lovers say?

 All this alcohol and catching up got me thinking as to why I need just a night with my girls every once in a while, you know a night with no more aims other then to talk about our problems discuss in length the details of out relationships or lack of them and just how much we're all secretly struggling with becoming adults. It's important to meet up with your girls and cover every topic, weight, body issues and your latest Tinder matches; so just be certain and understand that there will be revelations and long conversations and a lot of people watching. As for myself, I like to think that I can be civilised, I want people to think that we're the classy cool mums but without the kids, husband or responsibilities of being a mum. I like to every now and again act like an 'adult' and be a tad mature. I'm away a lot, I have uni which is 150 miles away from my friends back home so I don't as you can imagine always get to see them, but whenever I am home I always make sure even if it is just once over a short break that we have a night in or just a night in the pub to catch up and quite literally talk about everything and everyone. 

Any question or situation can literally be answered with a night out with your friends:
- Why won't he text me back?
- Do you think my boobs have got bigger?
- do you think my boobs have got smaller?
- I've been trying this new thing where I run and then just eat what I want, you think I've lost weight?
- Has that ever happened to you? I'm not weird am I?
- I'm so happy we can all be weird together?
- Will you be the god mother to my kids, you know when I have them?
- Do you think I'll find love?
- Can I upload this picture?
- If I upload this picture do you think he'll realise what he's missing?
- Does my bum look good in this?
- You like my bra?
- Sorry since when could you do shots?
- Hows life?
- You know when I'm rich, and we're all successful I'll still love you all
- You want shots?
- I fancy him and really like him but like I just don't know what to do?
- So when you getting married?
-Yeah I never like him anyway
- Okay so tonight we're getting you a date, a number or a kiss?

Dating Game: Dead

April 13, 2017
Is it something I did in a past life that has left me eternally dammed to being alone and single, will I only ever fulfil my cool aunt potential and will the chilling words of “oh you’re STILL single” never stop following me around! But maybe it might be my total flair for being a little over dramatic that is to blame for why my love life seems to have come to a complete and utter stand still. Wasn’t there meant to be more to single life then downloading the latest dating app, using it for 3 months before you realise that the phrase “so when you wanna meet?” translates from fuck boy language loosely into “so you come back to my place, we have awkward sex, then you can decide to stay over or not, but I’d kinda rather you left straight away and then I’ll never see you again. And this whole thing will just be a little something that happened and never gets mentioned or meant anything to either of us.” If I’m being honest I would like to have a one on one late night talk show style interview with a successful dating app couple; just to find out how they did it? And if there was any chance of them realising a book about what the hell they did to cheat the system and come out of this with more than just an 2am hook up text.
I guess that the idea of meeting guys and judging them completely on 5 photos taken when they looked their very best, fitting their interests into 140 characters and messaging the one friend connection you have with them on Facebook in order to discover who their ex is, what they love and if they’re a generally an all-round nice person or not all while from the comfort of your sofa while crying into the pillow at a Leonardo Dicaprio movie could work out in your favour; but is that really what we all imagined the dating world would be like when we were younger. Now I’m not running after the perfect imagine of love and in fact I don’t have any problem in a 2am hook up text but it would be nice to know there are more options out there. A true guy to cling onto or even the back-up plan of something a little more grown up then the guys I seem to be swiping on.
The problem I face is brought back to the works of Mr John Cusack, Hugh Grant and a little Miss Austen, they seemed to have raised the expectations bar too high and no one else is coming close to touching it. I don’t see Mr Darcy booty calling Liz in the early hours of the morning ‘because he’s bored and wants to tap some arse’ and I’m pretty sure that Hugh Grant never a played part that included wing manning his mate in the hope of pulling 2 friends and getting a threesome out of it. So if I’ve been brought up on these romantic pieces of art then who the hell has been teaching these guys all it takes is one google of a chat up line, a single snapchat and suddenly in our eyes they’re Prince bloody charming.
I imagine young girls watching romantic comedies and thinking that this how they find love, this is how the jock realising they don’t fancy the cheerleader but in fact they’ve fallen madly and truly in love with the quiet geeky lab partner that no one saw coming is how relationships work out… and then I imagine the reaction they have when it hits them square in the face that this isn’t how dating works, because the jock will get the cheerleader as the cheerleader has the confidence to meet the random guy for a date and the quiet science girl doesn’t.
Because so far in between the offers of meeting someone for a quickie, back handed compliments that I’m pretty for a ‘big girl’ and straight up insults, I have failed to see how a dating app such as Tinder can do anything other than force girls to love themselves more than they did posing in their best photo. Because if bio’s were honest and said what people really meant then mine would do more than express how Facebook have got my age wrong, what university course I’m studying and whether or not I’m a dog or cat person; this is more the gist of how things would be.

“Hi I’m Alice, I’m 20 years old and for 100% of those 20 years I have been as single as they can get, but please don’t be fooled, I have chosen the best photos that highlight my great hair, the clearest of my eyes and a subtle few that show you I have a shapely bum, but they don’t make it too obvious so you can’t think I’m easy as hell to sleep with. Please be nice to me and make me feel special cause at the moment I’m more than likely on the toilet trying to pass the time or bored lying in bed at 3am with nothing to watch on Netflix. Oh and my dog is a better person then you ever will be!”

I came to Tinder with not much hope, I’m still on tinder with not much hope, but every now and again it does teach me one thing. I could give each of you a play by play of which towns over the United Kingdom have the best looking people, the nicest people and the horniest people. If you’re interested London fills 2 of those categories. It might not have done much to my dating, it hasn’t in many areas added anything to my life, other then made me think some guys need to search the ‘Romance’ genre on their film lists a little more and learn a trick or two. We don’t ask for much, but a dick pick over the dinner table isn’t what I had my heart set on.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Get out more, see the real guys and make more of an effort meeting new people. And in an ideal world that’s what I would be doing, if I had the time to get dressed up, spend months working on something, the smallest of feelings and hoping it goes somewhere; all in between university essays, working, spending time with friends and generally doing what I want then that might work out to in fact be the best option. But so far this 20 something year old hasn’t found the dating world to be very much in her favour.

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