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A Crimbo Gift Guide

December 12, 2017

It's that time of year again and this time around I promised myself unlike every other year I wouldn't be the moany grinch self that I normally am, so this year I think I'll embrace it a bit more, not too much. I've watched love actually, eaten mince pies and put on a onesie; so all that is technically left is the present buying, and this is my student on a budget crimbo gift guide. 

Bathrobe // FILA // Boots // Monki // Newlook // Matt&Natt // Bodysuit // Earrings

I have been told that I am one of the worst people when it comes to events where presents are due, I have this habit of just forgetting tell anyone what it is I want. So this year I used a new style of things, everything that I would look at more then 10 times or found myself keep coming back to would be things that I would ask to have on my "Christmas list."
As I've got older Christmas is always a weird thing with me. I hat asking for gifts or presents for no reason at all, and hate the idea of passing a list over and expecting things. So the best thing that I can do is just hand these ideas over and simple look forward to Christmas as a whole.

Single Life Sucks

December 03, 2017
This is an ode to my single self, or to put it in better terms to my self, I know you’re still single and I know you’ve always made fun of yourself but I have the feeling that the joke itself is coming to and end. I think your mind is changing and I think I might be worried for my own piece of mind and my own head. It’s a weird one, explaining single life to people, you hear the same things all the time ‘ah no I would do anything to be single again,’ ‘you get to do what you want’ ‘you get to not have to worry about other people,’ oh and my favourite one of all, ‘think of all the money you’re saving.’ but then trying to explain what it’s like consistently being the single friend takes it's toll that you like many people have done start making yourself the brunt of the jokes in many situations, I find myself being the repeated meme in 3rd wheeling, 5th wheeling and 7th wheeling, I find people have stopped asking if I have anyone special in my life and I have also found people have stopped even being surprised if I take my best friend as a plus one rather then a boyfriend. Now please don’t think this is being written from the point of a drunk sad an lonely single person, I mean the more I go on the more I am starting to feel the lonely and sad part for for once when having a brain wave about writing, something which I haven’t done in over a 3 months now; the drunk part isn't in the equation (one cocktail at dinner which in term I was a wonderful 5th wheel doesn’t really count; now if I move onto the bottle of 21st birthday champers then well this could take a whole new tern, but I guess we’ll come to that when the matter arises.) 
  
And here's the thing I hear all the married couples and my mums friends saying how young I am and how I haven’t got to rush anything as I have so much time on my hands, but I don’t really want time at the moment, the thing is it's kinda simple as anything, I want someone who I can just say is mine, (of course in the none stalking weird possessive way,) just someone who doesn’t mind that I just want a cuddle after a carb loaded dinner, someone who will look at me after I’ve got back to the gym and not care that I look like a sweaty red faced angry person and just someone who will at least understand that I don’t want garlic bread but let me eat theirs off their plate instead. I’m happy to even settle for okay, I don’t want anyone perfect or with no chips around the edges, I will take chips and mistakes, I don’t want someone who I think I can change or someone who to me will make my mum happy or get on with my friends, I just want someone who is okay and loves my garlic kisses and all. I mean is that really too much to ask for? Maybe I should lower my standards, are my standards to high, why do guys never seem to be to me the way they are with nearly every other female friend I know. Is me starting to wonder what is wrong really not the weird to think about anymore. You hear tales of people meeting at dances and asking their dad is it okay to take their daughter to the movies, I mean dating now just isn't the same as it use to be. "I met mummy at the club after 3 J├Ąger bombs and a double vodka and coke isn't quite the love story most people have in mind. 

I’ve tried it all, well I mean I’ve tried it all I’ve tried a lot of things, there's the apps, something which due to a bad memory, shocking wifi and using up data on my phone has been harder then it normally would, and even with the added difficulties of the technical problems there is all the while idea behind the apps themselves, the ideas people have within their heads of what they really are for, and where someone can draw the line before the words, can I have your snapchat straight away terns into, so ‘what you wearing then?’ As well as that there is the horrible statistic that online apps never work and as a personal witness to a flat mate who has literally found love online I think that my chance has gone up in numerical smoke and 1/6 flatmates is kinda the max that it could ever be for one group of people in their life time. I should start buying the dogs now, buying the wedding dress and just let everyone know there will be no plus one on my invites so don’t even start to attach the little dotted line that can be broken away to the bottle, find something more useful for that small piece of paper. I've got it I'll use it as a name badge in my speed dating class. 

Right back into the present, the here and now.... I have just come back from what can only be decided as a lovely yet sad evening, lovely in the part it was spent with good company and good people, there was an above average bean burger and very creamy coleslaw and chips and an even better gin cocktail, the only sad part was it brought something up that I thought I had done quite well in hiding. See here's the thing us single people seem to do very well in forgetting the fact we’re single until the moment we are surrounded by couples, people in love and you find yourself literally sitting in on your own as all your couple friends go out and make plans with themselves. This now please understand is not a  bad thing and you cannot blame anyone for being in a couple or happy, and the last thing I want you to do is hide it, cause the day I start to resent people in relationships is really the last day that all hope is lost but it just beings it up and brings it right back home onto your door step again. Here we are back into the single abyss that I like to call.....  the unsuspecting single feeling that sneaks up on you like a bad small and somehow never seem to go away until you're alseep that very night. (Okay the name needs some work but those fellow single people out there will understand.)  

It’s something that is and can only be explained by fellow long term single people, it’s a weird feeling and it brings together the ideas of the longing outside the window looking through the rain Ross and Rachel from friends vibes and all of a sudden a very normal place such as a bar, pub or restaurant is only full of 85% couples 10% families and 5% friends. I will normally make up the friends. It’s a bit like walking around in a nightmare and then suddenly realising you’re butt naked and everyone is looking at you. This of course is in no way true all the couples are not pointing laughing at the single friend in the room but suddenly you become very aware of everyone around you and start to feel 30x more single then you did before the half holding and the cheek kissing started. And yes the hand holding, because I'm the single friend you do not have to subdue it to a quiet hold under the table, because I can see it, that is the one big signal that I am in fact single and whether your hand is on top on the table or below it my level and chance at being single will not matter. 


Being the single one in the friendship or group of people brings up it’s own worries and own ideas, and when you start to feel low and the prosecco, wine or bread doesn’t help then just always trust the romcom section on Netflix and rely on that to help you with your mood, at best you’re realise how old Hugh Grant now looks and understand not all good things last forever. 

I Think I'm Getting Old

October 13, 2017

It seems to be a regular thing that I would rather stay in then go to house parties and clubbing, so should I be worried if I'm preferring to put on big pants rather then the nice lace numbers that I own and does it mean a bad thing that I'm drinking wine with dinner just as I have seen many single middle aged women do on American TV shows, you know the ones where they're the c'cool' single friends with no child, cool of course meaning alone and unlovable. I mean that isn't me is it?
(Adjusts large knicker waist band and zips up fleece.) I always thought I'd be able to laugh of the fact when my mum says I'm not allowed to class myself as 'cosy' at 20 so why do i always want to be cosy over anything. I've started to find myself calling everyone who does anything for me, helps me even hands me some bog roll, darling, like everyone I meet is 45 years younger then me. I should be the one surely people are calling darling. It's happened again, I've fallen into the black hole of being the mum and adult of the group and left that role behind to be the nan of everything. All I'm missing the foul mouth language, grey hair and knitted waist coat. 

Okay Note To Self: STOP ACTING LIKE A GRANMA AND GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING.
(Long as you're still able to get a decent amount of sleep and remember to take your vitamins in the morning.) 

I swear I use to be cool, back when I tried hard to be cool that is, like when  wanted to sound call by saying I shopped in charity shops and discovered new bands on Spotify. Now I feel everyone is doing that and well I've just become kinda  hermit. On the hermit level of living under a rock and just owning a rock I think I'm ready to move on from just owning it. I'm ready to be cosy. How have I become 20 and aged about 50 years. 
Hi and welcome to the very new remake of 20 going on 21  65: Starring Alice, and of yeah that's about it really, just Alice on her own with her fleece and bed socks. 
Now that I think about it maybe it's just that I'm feeling like death warmed up with a sore throat, running nose and a horrible head. Or maybe i have just become the old women I always feared. 

This is an update to this post as I was having something some strange head thing where I seemed to have lost all energy to even write. I am more hung over then I have been in a while and it is even more of a sign that I am feeling old. Gin just doesn't eave me feeling good like I use to, you know I never use to feel like this the morning after so why is it happening to me now, well of course i know the answer.... I'm getting old and it's a sign to stop, there things I wanna do as I seem to be growing up and right next to the typical go travelling and find someone to love list of things to do I really wanna be able to stop drinking and just not need it when I go out as that is something I am finding lately. So old Alice just needs to be okay with a heavy head in the morning and not being 100% for the next 1-2 business days. 


I joint a Gym

October 07, 2017

So I joint the gym and I did it for me and not for weight loss or for the satisfaction of anyone else other then me. I mean like I am a little heart broken that I am paying a monthly amount of money that I don't think I can really afford but you know I'm sure that as I sit here at my table trying to make the charger reach and the awful wifi work that it will pay off, well that's what I'm hoping if not then a strong worded letter will hopefully work in my favour of getting a refund. That's how it works right? 

So here's the thing, I've joint the gym, I have a gym buddy I'm going quite regularly and I'm really enjoying it, I am however still facing a few things which are kinda getting me down, it took me all of one session to stop caring about that random sweat patch that appears on all the seats where your bum was placed, cause the way I'm looking at it is that if I'm sweating even from my arse then something must be working. It took me all of one session to stop worrying about my mustard yellow vintage Adidas t-shirt over dramatically highlighting the sweat on my back, neck, armpits and under my boobs. But it does still however kinda get to me when I think people are watching or not even watching but looking at me like there is no point in doing this as I'm never gonna be a size 8 and I mean it is simply a thought that comes into play only every now and again, you know the moments when the doubt comes in or when I have to move the 35kg up to the 10kg cause for some reason I thought the muscle from 4 years ago might still be there. (Spoiler alert it isn't, I don't think thats made an appearance for a long time. if you see it then please send it back to me.) But more then anything I think I have to really look at myself, not too close cause my red puffy gym face isn't something to be admired too close, but really look at myself from a far distance and remember that least I'm here. 

I think that is this is idea behind going to the gym which I have always kinda had in my head, I haven't set foot in a gym roughly give or take 4 years, so going back into this one was always going to be a bit more then normal for me, you see I have always been a runner and I use the term runner loosely, I could run maybe 6k on a flat surface 3 times a week, you know when I managed to find the motivation and the energy to do so. So a gym really wasn't something that I had on the top of my head. But I did it anyway, so I need to remove the idea about going to a gym and doing exercise in front of everyone and having the possibility of them looking and seeing just how much I am sweating from my butt and just kinda get on with it. I need to remember that it is a good thing if I look tired, I mean if I'm gonna do a Bridge Jones and fall off the cycle machine I want someone staring at me so at least they can save me when I do. And I mean of course inside we all kinda wanna hope that someone will be looking at my (sweating) bum when I'm on that strange walking machine that I still don't know how to use. Cause if you can look at me waddling on that then basically anyone can look at me. (Sorry feminism but you know if I can look that bad and still have someone appreciate my behind then I'll take that.) 


Something that I am trying to get my head around is the mix of eating and gym cause all I wanna do is eat cheese and pasta, cheese on pasta and cheese mixed in with pasta and bread! So what does that mean? Am I doing this wrong am I not suppose to be doing this? I am meant to have the lettuce and what else? Maybe if I live by the words that carbs will give me energy then I won't feel so bad about eating so many of them. Well thats my logic anyway. 




If I knew What I was Doing I'd Tell You

September 19, 2017

Of course I have a plan, of course when I moved into my tiny university box room with my 3 suitcases of clothes and boxes of fairy lights I started with the idea that I would be this creative student with all these brights ideas and all this motivation to make myself into the person that my mum tells all her friends I'm going to be. So when I get these bad days, or sometimes weeks I feel that I'm failing myself in what I said I was going to be, but then I try and pin point what that exactly is and I find myself struggling through my own head to understand the moment I decided that. And you know what I realise I kinda never have. So why am I worrying so much about what I'm aiming towards. Yes I want to be successful and I want to be the best at what I do. But I wanna make sure that I enjoy it when I do it and I wake up every morning happy to do so. So if I'm pushing myself into something I haven't got that overwhelming drive for then clearly that isn't what I want to do. I've been struggling over the summer to weigh out the balance between uni life and home life, between still having motivation to do things and be brave enough to do the things I want to do and the go through with the ideas that I have. You see that's where I fall down, I will have an idea, I'll tell people they'll like it but I'll be too scared to put it out there just in case it doesn't go the way I wanted or people don't react in the same way to the first people I told. But then I thought to myself I need follow my own advice and stop worrying a lot less about what people thought of my ideas. Not every single one I have is going to be the best idea in the world but every idea i do as long as I love it then that's one of the most important parts for me. So I decided I'm gonna do more projects and more writing of things I love and the things I wanna see out here in the world. I've gotta stop sitting by and letting other people have great ideas cheering them along while the whole of mine sit written down in a handful of note pads. Stop letting what I wanna do dwell in the pages and actually go forward and do it. I mean why not. I'll just get more annoyed at myself if I don't. 

THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO CHANGE IN TERMS OF GETTING MY ARSE UP AND DOING THE THINGS I WRITE DOWN IN MY SILLY NOTE BOOKS: 
  • Making sure I wake up in a good time. Now I know that this kinda sounds silly and obvious, but the moment I lay in past 9 I feel as though my body stops wanting to function and suddenly I'm not getting out of bed till 11/12 and then half the day is wasted and I just choose to do nothing and get nothing completed. 
  • If I write an idea for a blog post or project down and I am giving myself a week to complete it. No more then a week if I leave it longer then a week then I'm not allowing myself to do it, so if I loose it then it's my fault. No more putting of things cause I'm hiding behind the fact I can't do it with I'm too scared to do it. 
  • Get myself to the gym and complete it. I've googled and researched and found a 24 hour gym round the corner from my new house so thats it, I'm taking myself off there once I'm moved in making myself go early in the mornings when I don't have uni and late in the evenings when I do. My bursts of exercise come and go and stop way too often so gonna make sure that this time around I  do it for real and myself feel better. This isn't for weight loss, I mean that would be fab if I did but its more for just making myself feel good about everything. 
  • Remember to see more things, go to the exhibitions you wanted to go to and go see the shows you want to and the talks. And it doesn't matter if you go on your own cause you wanna go and thats kinda all you need. If you fond someone great but if you don't its not the end of the world. 



NYFW 2017 | If I Could Steal It I Would

September 17, 2017

It's the highlight of the fashion calendar in the fashion capital of America and the one thing that everyone has their eye set on, Sitting front row at a show in the big apple. But for some of us we can't always make it and now the catwalks have moved onto my home of London it only seems right to show off the best looks from the Spring/Summer 18 ready to wear collections of New York Fashion Week 2017.  

Oscar De La Renta:











Zero + Maria Cornejo:



TOME:





ANNA SUI:







Carolina Herrera:





All Images: WWD





I'm So Ready For The Cold | Winter Fashion

September 13, 2017

I don't know if it's just me but I'm fed up of waking up seeing the sun, thinking it'll be nice outside and it's so misleading that I end up freezing to death on the way to work, or entering a building without a coat even on my person and leaving that same place 1 hour later and wishing that I'd packed a thermal, gloves and scarf just to walk to the car. So I'm just hoping that soon the weather makes up it's mind cause now I've brought a new scarf and know the new coat I NEED to add to my collection I'm kinda ready for it to be cold now. Yes I said it. The C word. I'm ready for it to be gold, have my tea in a travel flask and build the layers up so I resemble Joey from friends that one time he stole all of Chandlers clothes. These are the clothes I wanna be wearing when that cold block decides to hit. 






The Feminist Lingerie Advert You Didn't Know You Needed

September 06, 2017

Why this lingerie advert is the feminist message we didn't know We needed: 
                


Underwear.... I'm a fan in fact I know sometimes underwear and a good bra can be the make or break of a good start to the day we didn't know we needed but as far as knowledge goes my arms stretch out to ASOS and maybe the fancy section of Marks and Spencer's in a sale so how comes this underwear brand is spreading the empowerment message that we all never knew we needed to see. 

Body control. It's something that is so easy to say but do we really complete it. It's easy yes to say I love my body and I do with it as I want but that doesn't mean we can see the same in the media or in shops. Put your hands up in the air if you really just don't care any more about the female gaze being used to sell a mans watch or a car or their bloody aftershave. Why are and have women been use as a pushed to get men to want to buy something. I'm sorry to break it too you guys. It doesn't mean the moment to spray that scent secret angel models will drop from the ceilings begging to love you. I don't need a half naked Ryan gosling to help me buy a watch I mean it might make the process more fun but I'll buy a watch cause I like the way it looks on  my wrist and one that has the most 'is that brand new or 20 years old ascetic' I can find. So why do men? 

And now you might think, but this is a lingerie advert Alice, men can look at this and wish their girlfriends were looking like these models do in the items. But this advert does so much more. This advert takes the women involved being oggelled (which yes is a real word) stated at and a type of male entertainment and flips it on their head. They wanna stop them from looking and enjoy each other all for the fact they know they look unreal in what they're wearing. From the start it's easy for them to stop the men from watching. But they prove they are in control, the women have the power to show them as much as they want or as little until they decide other wise. You wanna stare at my arse cause I know it looks good then do so but you can only stair at my arse while I decided it's okay and you're not allowed to see more then that!  They don't loose clothes to please the men they do it to please themselves. Taking the power back. 

For way to long men have seen to the fact that women are their as something to marvel at when they please and how they please some men see no boundaries and some think they should just 'deserve' to see women as they want to see them. But today I think you know it's okay to make people wait and to call the shots on how you want people to see you. If there is something that makes you feel good then you should and are able to do it without the pressures of others maybe not approving or enjoying it. You wanna take your clothes off to a game of strip pool in underwear I'll probs never buy them you be my absolute guest 

Are You On Trend Wearing Your Oversized Shirt

August 29, 2017

I feel about oversized shirts how I feel about most 'trendy' fashion items, that I really wanna be able to wear them and pull them off but then feel like when it comes to wearing it I feel a little like a fish out of water and don't really know how I look and feel a bit like I should be going to bed and not outside. There is always that flash image of films when the women have finished sleeping with the guy and suddenly the only thing they have free to where, you know when all their clothes have gone is the random shirt lying around on the floor, and of course this has been used after years of guys saying it's one of the sexiest things their girls can do is wear their large shirts and walk around in those, but why is this such a turn on? I get it totally! I mean you know if I had a boyfriend who had a shirt I could wear then I would cause it does make you feel sexy, the closest I have come is my oversized night shirt from Primark; but you know I can imagine and assume its from a guy, but somehow I think the pink stitched on 'Good Night' message on the pocket might be the tell tale sign it isn't. And seeing as you can quite literally have this oversized look in any style that you want, be it from off the should, to one shoulder to covering your shoulders up, after sex, before sex or just nipping to the shops, it's pretty much the unsung hero trend of the summer. 


                               
                                           
                                      

                                    


       
      
 
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